Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a dieting attempt asking yourself “Why is this so hard!?” Most of us know what we should be eating but actually eating that way seems like an impossible task sometimes. In my experience, both personally and professionally, I have found that one of the biggest issues that sets us up for failure is defining “healthy eating” the wrong way. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves that we just can’t meet on a daily basis which leads us to feel like we are failing. We create these standards based on what other people are doing, what we hear about on social media and in the news, and beliefs we were taught growing up. We have been flooded with so much information about how and what we should eat that it can feel like we are never doing the right thing. I completed 4 years of undergrad in nutrition, a 2 year Master’s program, dietetic internship, countless continuing education hours, obtained my diabetes certification and worked in the field for over 14 years and I can go down a TikTok rabbit hole that STILL makes me question all my nutrition knowledge. Sheesh!
One diet does not fit all
Our diets should be a balance of foods that make us happy, keep us healthy, and feel right for us. This might look different from one person to the next because we are all unique! We need to meet ourselves where we are at. Copying what your friend did when she lost weight is not going to guarantee success. Why? There are a few reasons.
1. Genetics plays a part because our bodies all operate a little differently. Some people have fast metabolisms, some have slow ones. Some bodies seem to be more sensitive to carbs while others are sensitive to fat. We need to pay attention to what makes our own bodies feel good.
2. We all have different starting points. Your friend may have been eating fast food 3 times a day so that diet they started where they prepped all of their meals at home made a huge difference! You may cook a lot more already so that diet may not have quite as big of an impact on you.
3. Life factors need to be considered. Your friend may be single and able to afford her organic, “super clean” diet that she started. But you may have 2 kids that you’re also feeding and a limited budget so that expensive diet is just going to add more stress and who needs that!
4. Each person’s unique medical & family history is a huge driving factor in what we eat. A person with celiac disease is going to eat differently than someone without it. The person with celiac disease needs to avoid gluten because they actually have a negative response to it. That doesn’t mean someone without celiac disease also needs to avoid it.
What can you eat?
A major problem most people have when trying to make diet changes is focusing on what they believe they can’t have. Focusing on what you are trying to avoid eating automatically shines the whole experience in a negative light. No one likes being told they can’t have something. In fact, it often has the opposite effect and causes us to want that even more. I believe the only reason we should totally eliminate foods we enjoy is because of an intolerance or a medical condition. BUT I also understand that sometimes it may be best for a person to temporarily distance themselves from a food that triggers them while they focus on other changes but the goal should still be to add that food back in once they learn to have a healthy relationship with it. I’ll save this topic for another day…
The “I can eat it” list
Anyways, whether you are eliminating foods or not, I think it is helpful to focus on what you can eat. I love lists. Getting everything floating around in my mind down on paper always helps me think more clearly. If you are feeling lost and confused about what you should eat, I recommend making a list of everything you can eat (all inclusive- veggies to cakes). Consider your budget, food availability, and comfort-level with cooking. Don’t include foods that you absolutely can’t tolerate and would struggle to make yourself eat but try to be open-minded about what foods you would be willing to see on your plate. I have an extremely picky 4-year old and I am always telling him not every bite is going to be the most delicious thing you ever had! But that doesn’t mean you should decide you will never eat it. If you can tolerate it then try to give it a chance. My husband and I are guilty of this also. We are true foodies and treat every meal like we’re Food Network judges. If we don’t think we are going to win the competition then we don’t want to make it. But you know what, sometimes a dinner of baked chicken and veggies, while maybe not the most delicious to us, is totally OK.
Write it down!
I want you to take some time and start writing down everything that you can eat. Once you feel like you’ve given it a good first pass (you can keep adding), congratulations! These are all of the foods that can make up your diet! If you can eat it, you can have it. Nothing is off limits. I know, you’re thinking this girl is crazy. I can’t just keep eating everything I want! But I believe the problem is not in figuring out what you can eat, it’s in establishing a healthy relationship with these foods so that you can eat them in balance and that’s where I hope I can help you. Learning to listen to our bodies, instead of all the outside noise, is the key to living our healthiest lives.
Great job taking this first step! You are doing it!
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